What Causes Sex Addiction?

No one chooses to become addicted to sex. Sex addiction—or compulsive sexual behavior disorder—is a complex issue with multiple potential causes. Individuals who suffer from sex addiction are often desperate to find ways to stop what they’re doing but often struggle to find resources that can truly help them.

What Is Sex Addiction, Really?

According to Hope & Freedom’s founder, Dr. Milton Magness, sex addiction is really an intimacy disorder. “Everyone has inside them a desire for intimacy,” Dr. Magness shared. “Sometimes when people look for intimacy, they put other things in there to fill that void. Sometimes people substitute intensity for intimacy.”

Sex addiction is not defined by one particular behavior, such as looking at pornography, infidelity, an affair, or even multiple affairs. The brief sexual addiction screening questionnaire PATHOS helps people identify whether someone is struggling with compulsive sexual behavior disorder. PATHOS stands for six assessment questions:

​​Preoccupied:  Do you often find yourself preoccupied with sexual thoughts?

Ashamed:  Do you hide some of your sexual behavior from others?

Treatment:  Have you ever sought therapy for sexual behavior you did not like?

Hurt others:  Has anyone been hurt emotionally because of your sexual behavior?

Out of control:  Do you feel controlled by your sexual desire?

Sad:  When you have sex, do you feel depressed afterwards?

A positive response to just one of the six questions would indicate a need for additional assessment with a certified sex addiction therapist. Two or more are considered to certainly indicate sexual addiction.

If you’re still unsure, you might consider taking our brief self-assessment quiz to help you find more clarity about this condition.

How Does Sex Addiction Develop?

The factors that contribute to a person’s struggle with problematic sexual behavior are wide, complex, and varied.

There are psychological factors that can contribute to sex addiction, like a history of trauma, abuse or neglect. That abuse doesn’t have to be sexual. It might have been emotional, psychological, or physical. Individuals with other mental health issues, like low self-esteem, anxiety, or depression, may turn to compulsive sexual behavior as a way to cope.

If a person is genetically or neurobiologically predisposed to addictive behaviors, sex addiction might be an issue.

A person’s upbringing or environment can significantly impact the development of addictive behaviors, including sex addiction. Childhood experiences, including exposure to explicit sexual content, sexual abuse, or a lack of healthy boundaries, can contribute to the development of sex addiction.

Children who consistently do not have their needs met will make two decisions about what to do to meet those needs. The first decision—“I’ll take care of them myself,” and “I don’t need anyone but myself”—can lead to fulfilling sexual desires through solo activities, like masturbation and cybersex.

The second decision is this: "If I'm going to relate to other people, it's only going to be in terms of their body parts—their genitals, their breasts, their legs, etc., but I will not relate to them as persons. I'll relate to parts of clothing, or videos, where people aren't real, because every time people get into the drama they mess it up, and I want this to be perfect. I want to stay in the trance exactly as I want it, and when I want it" (Dr. Jennifer Schneider, 2005).

Not everyone who experienced abuse or neglect becomes addicted to sex, and not every person who struggles with sex addiction was abused or neglected as a child. There’s some research that seems to indicate that the easy availability of pornographic and sexual content can influence an individual’s perception of sex, contributing to compulsive sexual behavior.

Sex addiction does not discriminate between genders—for every three men who struggle with sex addiction, there is one woman in the same situation.

Regardless of the cause, sex addiction can threaten relationships, occupation, and health. It can be a life-threatening condition.

For more about what causes sex addiction, watch this video from Dr. Milton Magness: